


Hand Job

by pinkevilbob



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Manicures & Pedicures, Shipping If You Squint, platonic intimacy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 18:43:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17872745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkevilbob/pseuds/pinkevilbob
Summary: Caleb's nails are a crime against humanity and Jester needs to clean them.





	Hand Job

Jester tutted looking at Caleb's hands. "Your fingernails are super gross."

Caleb rolled his eyes and smiled. "Well, I am a dirty, smelly hobo man."

"I'm not teasing, Caleb, I'm being serious," Jester pouted. "With how much you scratch your arms, you're going to get an infection."

"You don't have to worry about me," Caleb said. He took his hands away from Jester.

She frowned at him. "Cay-leb. I'm a cleric; I wouldn't be doing my job if I wasn't worrying about you." Jester clapped her hands with an excited smile. "I have to best idea. I can clean your fingernails for you."

Caleb shoved his hands into his pockets. "You really don't have to."

"But, I'm really good at it, Caleb. I used to do my mom's nails all the time," Jester said. "And she says that no one is as good at it as I am."

Caleb watched her carefully to see if he could catch the loneliness behind her smile. And there it was. "Fine. I guess they're overdue for a cleaning."

Jester's grin brightened and this time there was no lingering doubt behind it. "This is going to be great! Wait here; I'll get everything we need." She ran off to talk to Caduceus and Caleb started to wonder just what he agreed to. Gleefully, Jester returned with a small bowl of water. "Stick your fingers in here."

"Jester, that prank only works if the person's asleep."

Jester pouted in frustration at him. "I know that. It's to loosen the dirt and stuff. Now you need to leave them in there for 5 minutes."

Caleb obediently put his fingers in the water and waited exactly five minutes while Jester grabbed more things including a small cloth. The time five minutes had passed the water was dingy and brown.

"So I don't have a towel, but Cad uses this for drying vegetables so I thought it should work." Jester placed Caleb's hands on the drying cloth and rubbed the water off his hands. "Now hold still." She grabbed a small round stick and his left hand. "Let me know if this hurts, okay?"

"Ja," Caleb said.

Carefully, she scraped the dirt from under his fingernail, wiped it off on the drying cloth, and repeated the process on the next finger. Her tongue poked out of the corner of her mouth the pink contrasting with the blue of her lips as her brow furrowed with concentration. "You should really take better care of her hands, Caleb," Jester said as she finished with his first hand. "Especially since you use them a lot for spell casting.

"I'll keep that in mind," Caleb said. Her hands were so soft compared to his. He felt guilty for how long she had to touch them.

Finally, she finished with cleaning his nails. "Okay, next step."

"There's more?" Caleb asked.

Jester looked at him like he was missing something obvious. "Of course there is. I'm not going to leave them uncut."

"Oh. You don't have to if you don't want to."

"Caleb, look at them. They're all rough and uneven and jagged. I can't leave them like that," Jester said.

Caleb never really had paid much attention to his nails before, but he had to admit that she did have a point. "Alright then." He held out his hand, and she grabbed it with both of hers and started rubbing it. "What are you doing?"

"Hand massage. It's super important for the circulation." Jester continued to knead his hand with her thumbs. It was strange. No one had touched Caleb that much in years. Sure, he and Nott would hold each other's hand and sleep together, but there was something about how much focus and attention Jester was giving his hands. This kind of intimacy was foreign to him. He knew he should pull away from her. His hands did not deserve such kindness, but Caleb couldn't help but melt at her touch.

Jester smiled at him as Caleb visibly relaxed. "Feels good right? My mom says that there's nothing better after a long week."

Caleb nodded. "Ja."

"We can make this a usual thing and do this every week. Next hand." Jester switched the hand she was working on. "I don't want your nails to get bad again."

Caleb blushed at the idea of having Jester, or anyone really, touching him so much being a regular thing. "We'll see."

"Okay." Jester turned her focus back to his hand and then began to clip his nails."They're going to have to be super short so that they're all the same length. But hopefully they'll hurt less when you scratch." She cut his nails nearly down to the nail bed. "There! Done! Now for the finishing touch."

"How many steps are there to cleaning nails?" Caleb asked. He thought this was going to be a quick thing.

Jester pulled something out of the haversack of holding with a smile. "Enough to make even your nails look good. But this really is the last step. Nail polish!"

Caleb stood up. "That's enough."

"But, but, it will keep your nails safe and it's a super pale pink so no one will notice it." Jester look up at him with big almost sad eyes. 

He sighed heavily and sat back down. Caleb would never admit it out loud but this tiefling was starting to wrap him around her finger. "Fine. Go ahead."

Jester beamed at him as she rolled the bottle of nail polish in her hands. As she carefully painted his nails, she told him about the various colors and styles that she'd do for her mother. "But her toes she'd always do blue." She used thaumaturgy to dry Caleb's nails once she was done. "Now, I worked very hard on those, so you can’t go chipping them. That means no scratching your arms."

"I don't think scratching myself will chip them," Caleb said.

Jester gave him a patronizing look. "Caleb, how much do you know about nails or nail polish? No scratching. But when they start flaking, they'll be funner to pick than yourself."

"Jester," Caleb said reproachfully, "you don't have to worry about me."

"I know. I just don't want to see you hurting yourself even on accident," Jester said.

Caleb started to say that he didn't hurt himself, but that was a lie. Sometimes digging his nails in his arm was the best way to stay in the present. "I'll try to not scratch for three days."

"Pinky promise?" Jester held out her pinky.

He smiled despite himself. "I promise." Caleb linked his pinky to Jester's. It was the least he could do.

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted something cute fluffy and intimate in a non-sexy way.


End file.
